After spending the last year and a half on the road and talking to as many people as one person can possibly meet, it seems a major factor in deciding whether to travel, is whether to move away from a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Many fellow travellers I had spoken to had first hand experiences or friends who chose from 1 of 3 decisions:
b) Never travelled because of a relationship
c) And those who chose to travel and the relationship suffered because of it
My case was the latter. It had always been my major goal to travel and I always let the guy I was with, know of my intentions to see the world. However, three months into my journey we had the ominous ‘chat’. It was over. Many would argue that my lack of commitment through deciding to leave home and travel without him was the reason my relationship never worked. But what if I had stayed home? What if that was the guy I married and what if I forever held a grudge against him because I never got to scratch that serious case of ‘travellers itch’? Is that really better.
For me, the experience of the break up was how anyone else experiences it and I went through the usual stages of:
Oh it doesn’t hurt that bad, to ‘Single-Lady’ partying, to Oh Dear God I Miss Him, to Sadness (coupled with its best friend) loneliness and finally acceptance.
A post break up cycle experienced by many (including guys). But I was in a good place. Literally! Canada, a country where there were no memories of him, with people he had never met, and things we never shared. That’s not to say I didn’t flinch at the sight of couples kissing by the river but this was truly a place I could call my own, where I could make my own memories and start really afresh.
I came out to Canada alone, but still with ties back home. The isolated feeling severing ties with someone is unpleasant…but only brief. It passes, as everything does, with time. And I have to say, travelling alone and learning more about myself has been the most soul defining and character building experience of my entire life.
And the loneliness? I read an excellent post from Benjamin Jenks of Adventure Sauce which captures loneliness perfectly. I highly recommend you give it a read.
And now? I’ve set my own personal goals that I’d like to achieve by January 1st 2013 to make myself happy.
I’m keeping my eye open for love. I’m a firm believer that my happiness shouldn’t depend on other people. I’m in charge of my own happiness. Yet, if a guy comes along that helps me towards that happiness, I’d be obliged to take that Mountie by the hand and ride into the sunset on his noble steed (innuendo not intentional).
For now,
Jones x
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